Up swing

Despite what my friends and family might think, doing a third year has been harder than I thought it would be. I didn't realize how much longer it would feel. In addition to starting all over the experience has only been made more difficult when I see other fellow volunteers from Mali moving on with their lives back in the US. My friend from Mali, currently living in New York, came down to visit, and we had an excellent time. But when she left, it just reminded me how much I miss those friends I had made and how out of place I felt in my new environment. I was starting to have serious doubts as to if I had made a mistake in coming here. My work seemed as crusty as the dried up Nicaraguan earth at the end of the dry season. I had unexpectedly hit a 6 month slump. Slumps are tricky things. They are hard to spot, hard to avoid and, even once they have been identified, hard to fix. The business volunteers had yet another in service training planned and I was not looking forward to it. In the end however the training, and the return of the rain, are what I think ultimately pulled me out of my slump. I felt as refreshed as the returned green leaves on the trees lining my drive back to my town. I was able to look at my next 6 months and make goals and project ideas that I was excited about. It makes the remaining time seem more manageable. When I started to look at the list of things I want to do, the 6 months seem almost too short again. Life no longer seems stagnant and dusty, but busy and exciting. And as I looked out the window of the bus on my ride home with the volcano as the background I was reminded how full of energy I had been when I first arrived.

My house is full of 2-5 year olds who are always bipolar with their emotions, as those of that age tend to be. Crying fits suddenly burst into smiles, a party could end in screams of exasperation. During one of these flash flood of emotions I was reminded that as an adult I am in charge of how I feel about things, so I better start feeling happier or the next few months are going to be miserable.

I had a meeting in Managua, 10 am to 1 pm. After a short amount of sleep the night before, the 3 hour meeting, and the rushed 6 hour trip back to my town, exhausted I was greeted by a quiet town, because the power was out again, and food my host family had saved for me from lunch. I eagerly ate my dinner and with a full belly went to bed happy. It was good to be home, and I for the first time I truly realized I will miss them when I have to go back to the US.